Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Slap her down again, Pa (make her tell us where she's been, Pa) -- Ruby (Red) Tuesday -- Cars
The Ruby (Red) old cars pictures were taken at our October Early Ford V-8 Club picnic. Cars in order (down): 1957 Chevy Belair 2-door Nomad; 1934 Ford Three-window coupe (we ran one of these as a modified stock car in the 50's); 1965 Mustang; and 1935 or 36 Ford Coupe with rumble seat (closed). Click on them for larger size, change the "/s800-h/" to "/s1600-h/" in the URL for extra large .
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Now for this important message:
911 operator just got this message earlier:
"Help, help. Please help me!"
911 operator: How may I help you
Caller: This lady knocked her husband out cold with an eight iron and he crashed the Navigator. He's laying on the grass out cold!
911 operator: Can you wake him up? 
Caller: I don't think so, he's laying on my grass.
911 operator: This sounds like a domestic quarrel, we'll call domestic relations.
New call a few days later:
911 operator just got this yesterday: "Help, help. Please help me!"
911 operator: What seems to be the problem?
Caller: My wife is laying on the floor, I just knocked her cold.
911 operator: Why did you do that? 
Caller: She was terribly drunk and came after me with a knife. I had to defend myself.
911 operator: Don't move an inch, you might hurt her worse. I'll send someone. Stay on the line.
Caller: Help, help. Please help me!
911 operator: What seems to the problem? 
Caller: They've tassered me, the police tassered me, and now I'm cuffed!
911 operator: It serves you right. I can't help you any for that. I think you deserved it. I sent them.
Caller: Please, quick, I need a lawyer, my lawyer.
911 operator: Oops, they just told me that this is your one phone call. Tell the judge in the morning about things. He might let you get your lawyer.
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What's wrong with these two scenes? Can you reconcile them?
Note: I have changed some of the facts and parties to protect the innocent.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
I remember this old hit song on the whole family helping to raise the younger daughters. The above family violence situations reminded me of the song, popular in my younger days. This did not occur in MY family. The song: Slap Her Down Again, Pa Lyrics at allthelyrics.com
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Come here gol-darned you
Take that and that and that
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That's right
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(Chorus):
Slap her down again, pa
Slap her down again
Make her tell us more, pa
Tell us where she's been
We don't want our neighbors
Talkin' 'bout our kin
Slap her down again, pa
Slap her down again
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Well pa and ma were so darn sore
They woke me up one night
There was an awful cussin'
And ma said pa was right
They was awaitin' sister Bess
Who never kept her word
The sun came up as Bess came in
And this is what I heard
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(Chorus)
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Now poor old Bess got so darn mad
She ran away one day
To meet that travellin' salesman
With city-skickin' ways
We ran and stood beside them though
With shotguns by our sides
Me and Deke and pa and ma
Who yelled as they came by
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Why don't you
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(Chorus)
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Now ma and pa, they planned for Bess
To marry Deacon Brown
And not that travellin' salesman
Who always came around
They made poor Bessie go to church
Her face was mighty red
The deacon took one look at her
And this is what he said
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Oh
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(Chorus)
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Unquote
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Doesido
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Oh yes, hot stuff
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Well the moral of this story girls
Is don't stay out too late
Unless you take your shoes off
Outside your pappy's gate
If ma don't hear you comin' in
She won't lay down the law
And you won't have to worry
'Cause you won't see much of pa
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(Chorus)
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Take that and that and that
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Click the Ruby Tuesday button for Mary's Ruby Tuesday post list of other interesting RED finds today. Mary is in charge there, you can see more or post your own from there.
Labels: 911, Antiques, Cars, Humor(?), Ruby Tuesday, The News
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Hello 911, there's been a shooting here!!
Hello, this is 911, may I help you please?
Oh yes, yes, they've shot my mama!
Oh dear, you poor darling! Are you alright?
Yes, I'm fine, but my mama has been shot and is dyin'.
Where is your mama now, is somebody helping her?
She's layin' out in the street. The dog's been shot too!
Those scoundrels! We have an ambulance coming to 2131 Whippoorwill Road, is that where you are calling from.
Yes, Ma'am, but she's down the street in front of the neighbors house.
Is it far from you?
No Ma'am, just four houses down.
Good, I mean this is terrible but we will find her over there.
How about the doggy, it might be dyin' too! There's blood everywhere down there.
You didn't answer my question, is anyone there helping your mom?
Oh yes, my sisters are there holding her head and both of her hands. Brother has the doggy in his lap.
Do you think the dog will bite?
Oh no Ma'am, he's a nice doggy, he belongs to the neighbor.
Fine, I mean thank you. We will have an ambulance there for the dog too.
Okay.
While I have you on the phone, do you have any idea who shot them?
Oh yes, Ma'am. I saw it all. A police lady was driving by and just up and shot them both. Lots of times, bang, bang, bang. Mama wasn't doing nothin' bad, she and the dog and the kids were playin' keep the ball and rasslin' some.
You poor dear. Are you sure you are okay? Is anyone there with you?
No Ma'am, I'm alone. I guess I'm alright but it is awful scary.
Now, ...
Just a minute, Ma'am. A sheriff just drove up. I think he will help until the ambulance gets there.
Do you ...
I sure hope he doesn't start shootin' at all of us! Eeeei!
Now, please, we will find out who it is. I am sure he will help ...
For the rest of this story, please go here: (La Marque police officer shoots woman link)
Oh yes, yes, they've shot my mama!
Oh dear, you poor darling! Are you alright?
Yes, I'm fine, but my mama has been shot and is dyin'.
Where is your mama now, is somebody helping her?
She's layin' out in the street. The dog's been shot too!
Those scoundrels! We have an ambulance coming to 2131 Whippoorwill Road, is that where you are calling from.
Yes, Ma'am, but she's down the street in front of the neighbors house.
Is it far from you?
No Ma'am, just four houses down.
Good, I mean this is terrible but we will find her over there.
How about the doggy, it might be dyin' too! There's blood everywhere down there.
You didn't answer my question, is anyone there helping your mom?
Oh yes, my sisters are there holding her head and both of her hands. Brother has the doggy in his lap.
Do you think the dog will bite?
Oh no Ma'am, he's a nice doggy, he belongs to the neighbor.
Fine, I mean thank you. We will have an ambulance there for the dog too.
Okay.
While I have you on the phone, do you have any idea who shot them?
Oh yes, Ma'am. I saw it all. A police lady was driving by and just up and shot them both. Lots of times, bang, bang, bang. Mama wasn't doing nothin' bad, she and the dog and the kids were playin' keep the ball and rasslin' some.
You poor dear. Are you sure you are okay? Is anyone there with you?
No Ma'am, I'm alone. I guess I'm alright but it is awful scary.
Now, ...
Just a minute, Ma'am. A sheriff just drove up. I think he will help until the ambulance gets there.
Do you ...
I sure hope he doesn't start shootin' at all of us! Eeeei!
Now, please, we will find out who it is. I am sure he will help ...
For the rest of this story, please go here: (La Marque police officer shoots woman link)
Labels: 911, Dogs, Humor(?), The News
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Headline says:
Man falls to his death
when sinkhole opens
in middle of his house
Some theorize the living room sat atop an old mine
The Houston Chronicle
April 24, 2006, 10:49PM (link) **
What happened dear?
(Muffled voice) Help, help, I'm down here!
Don't be silly, we don't have a basement.
Come quick! Call 911!
Oh my gosh!
(Ring, ring, ring)
Hello, 911!
Yes, how can we help you?
My husband just fell into a hole, come quickly!
Easy now, lady. Stay calm.
Where are you now?
I'm in my living room.
Can you see the hole from where you are?
I'm standing beside it.
Ok, lady. Sure. In your living room.
Yes, yes! Right in the middle of the room.
Well, that's better now. Just lay down. We will have a paramedic there right away.
No, no, no. It's my husband who needs help. Bring some strong men, a ladder, and some rope! And anything else you think will help!
I know, I know. I sympathize with you. That sorry bastard. He hasn't hit you, has he. Are you safe now?
No, no, nothing like that. There is an abyss right here, and he fell in it. Come quick!
Hell on earth? That comes often. Does he hallucinate? What did he take?
No, no. He's in danger. I haven't heard from him now for a few minutes.
Good, good. At least you are safe for the time being. I'll send a clergy too, ropes and ladders won't get him out of the hell he is in. Can we have prayer right now while you are waiting?
J...n, J...n, how are you doing down there(!!)?
SILENCE. DEATHLY SILENCE.
Be calm, lady. It is alright now. You are better and he is calmed down. Paramedics and the ambulance are about six minutes away now. Are you still laying down?
MORE SILENCE, DEATHLY SILENCE.
SOBBING, SOBBING.
Honey, stay on the line , it's almost over.
Little did that operator know. What a horrible way to die. Right in the safety of one's home. And so terrifying for the helpless wife who was always there to help.
The article concluded with this:
The Alta (sic, California) area was heavily mined for gold in the late 1800s. A mine collapse is one likely cause of the tragedy, but officials say they can't explain it yet. The area was part of the historic Nary Red Mine, a complex of 16 different gold mining claims that operated from the 1860s to the 1940s.
Man falls to his death
when sinkhole opens
in middle of his house
Some theorize the living room sat atop an old mine
The Houston Chronicle
April 24, 2006, 10:49PM (link) **
What happened dear?
(Muffled voice) Help, help, I'm down here!
Don't be silly, we don't have a basement.
Come quick! Call 911!
Oh my gosh!
(Ring, ring, ring)
Hello, 911!
Yes, how can we help you?
My husband just fell into a hole, come quickly!
Easy now, lady. Stay calm.
Where are you now?
I'm in my living room.
Can you see the hole from where you are?
I'm standing beside it.
Ok, lady. Sure. In your living room.
Yes, yes! Right in the middle of the room.
Well, that's better now. Just lay down. We will have a paramedic there right away.
No, no, no. It's my husband who needs help. Bring some strong men, a ladder, and some rope! And anything else you think will help!
I know, I know. I sympathize with you. That sorry bastard. He hasn't hit you, has he. Are you safe now?
No, no, nothing like that. There is an abyss right here, and he fell in it. Come quick!
Hell on earth? That comes often. Does he hallucinate? What did he take?
No, no. He's in danger. I haven't heard from him now for a few minutes.
Good, good. At least you are safe for the time being. I'll send a clergy too, ropes and ladders won't get him out of the hell he is in. Can we have prayer right now while you are waiting?
J...n, J...n, how are you doing down there(!!)?
SILENCE. DEATHLY SILENCE.
Be calm, lady. It is alright now. You are better and he is calmed down. Paramedics and the ambulance are about six minutes away now. Are you still laying down?
MORE SILENCE, DEATHLY SILENCE.
SOBBING, SOBBING.
Honey, stay on the line , it's almost over.
Little did that operator know. What a horrible way to die. Right in the safety of one's home. And so terrifying for the helpless wife who was always there to help.
The article concluded with this:
The Alta (sic, California) area was heavily mined for gold in the late 1800s. A mine collapse is one likely cause of the tragedy, but officials say they can't explain it yet. The area was part of the historic Nary Red Mine, a complex of 16 different gold mining claims that operated from the 1860s to the 1940s.
Labels: 911, Humor(?), The News
