Monday, January 02, 2006
so far. So for now,
Why I live in Montgomery, Texas
[People are calling to see where my blog update is today. Had to come up with something.]
So far I have 20 reasons but there are a lot more. So just one for tonight.
VERY IMPORTANT REASON: You can play golf 350 days a year. The other fifteen days are either too cold or too hot or it's raining.
Mrs. Jim and I played this afternoon. It was a nice day, no need for a jacket.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Well, here goes. I have plans not yet formulated so will just willy nilly for a while.
My sister sent this e-mail today showing why she would live in a small town in Iowa. She thinks Iowa is 'midwest' but for sure Iowa is so much blander than the rest of those states that it hardly qualifies as being 'midwest.'
It is too long to read a whole lot so it is on the bottom of this. I didn't even read every word. What the hey?
"Subject: Retirement relocationWhen we hit retirement age we come face to face with the fact that it maybe time to relocate. The big question is: where to? Here are sometips.
You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or thesteering wheel.
3. You‘ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water inthe toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "D! ress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picturelingerie ads.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and
ARE YOUKIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the facewhen you open your oven door.
You can Live in Southern California where...
1. You make over $500,000 and you still can‘t afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cellphone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how longit will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city"! and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire StateBuilding.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from ColumbusCircle to Battery Park, but can‘t find Wisconsin on a map.
4 You think Central Park is "nature,"
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own languagemakes you multi-lingual.
6. You‘ve worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5 The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, andconstruction.
You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "y‘all" is singular and "all y‘! all" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain‘t from ‘ round here, areYa?"
4. "He needed killin‘ " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, BettyJean, MARY BETH, etc.
You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car
.2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stopsat the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You‘ve never meet any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where‘s my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It wasdifferent!"
AND You can live in Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people."
You are one golfing man! I'm glad Mrs. Jim loves it too. How great that you can do it together!
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