Wednesday, February 08, 2006
My dog, Adi, has her routine every morning:
a) After I get the coffee started, we go out to get the paper from the driveway.
b) She goes to the end of the driveway to see which of her friends have visited since she was there last.
c) She leaves her mark.
d) Next stop is around the fire hydrant, about eight feet from where she left her mark, to sniff around.
e) Then it on past the hydrant and out of sight behind the bushes. That is her favorite pooping place.
f) I call Adi, saying, "Adi, get over here."
g) She moseys back to where I can see her.
h) Now it is time for pooping, just a few feet towards the house from the fire hydrant.
i) If she can get away with it, she goes on past the little pear trees--they are in bloom now--to a small ditch almost to our front sidewalk to poop there instead.
j) After pooping, she runs beagle style back to me. I am at the garage door by now.
k) She gets ahead of me. She would scratch on the kitchen door to get in, but Mrs. Jim has her trained of sorts, and if I give her the evil eye, she just waits for me to open it instead of scratching.
l) Now she is waiting for me at the little island between the sink and the refrigerator. She is waiting for her treat for being a good doggie.
m) Here we differ, Mrs. Jim and I, on dog training philosophy.
. . .My rule is 'no treat' if she didn't do one of the two body elimination functions.
. . .Mrs. Jim's idea is to treat her if she comes back in when called.
Without fail, Adi and I do this every morning except Sunday. Sunday has its own routine, but it isn't nearly so interesting.
There is more:
n) I take three medicines and three vitamins/minerals every morning. Adi is my helper with this. We are in the kitchen beside the sink.
o) Before taking the first medicine I get a glass of water and eat one rectangular piece of graham cracker. Adi eats a small piece from one end.
p) She waits patiently while I take the rest. I have a small routine [programmers, would this be a subroutine?] doing this so that I don't take one medicine twice or skip one. My secret is to take out of my shoe box the three pill bottles. As I take a medicine, I put the bottle back in the box. Can't go wrong that way.
q) After the last pill, which is a generic EyeCap, we eat the other rectangular piece of graham cracker, just as we did the first.
r) Next for Adi is 'breakfast.'
. .That for me is one half package of two (i.e. one piece) pieces of granola bar and coffee.
. .Mrs. Jim eats the other piece/half package. Adi waits for the granola bar ritual.
s) I pour coffee for Mrs. Jim, who is now reading the paper or getting e-mail. Adi waits for the granola bar ritual.
t) I open the granola bar package. Adi is still waiting.
u) I eat one third of my granola bar piece. Adi gets a corner, about the size of a large pencil eraser.
v) Mrs. Jim sips her coffee and has a one third piece of her granola bar. Adi gets a corner, about the size of a large pencil eraser, from Mrs. Jim.
w) We repeat this procedure four more time, two each for Mrs. Jim and me, with Adi and her piece, and the granola bar is gone. Adi has had a total of six bits.
x) Adi goes to the utility room to get a drink of water.
y) Adi tries to get me to play toss and take-away with her and her teddy bear.
z) Adi gets tired from playing teddy bear with me. Or she gives up trying to get me to play. I'm old, you know.
aa) Adi gets in her breakfast room bed for a long nap.
bb) If the sun is shining I always fix a blind so there is a sunny spot on the carpet and she sleeps there instead.
That is Adi's morning ritual. Every morning except Sundays. On Sundays, the paper goes into the back of the car on our way to church so we don't do the front yard part.
So on Sunday, Adi does her thing out back while I'm putting my shoes on, sitting in a rocker on the porch. Then we do the medicine/vitamin bit. I'll let you figure out which steps from above are omitted. There are additional steps. Adi goes in the utility room and gets into her 'kennel' with a treat. She eats the treat while I put the baby gate up. Adi takes a nap until we return.
Ah, life in the fast lane. That is her and my routine. I thought it might get close to being 26 steps. So I was surpised when the list got to 28 discrete items (four of the granola bit were lumped into one, at step 'w') Of course at 9:30 or ten, Mrs. Jim and I have a sweet snack with coffee. I take another pill. Adi gets into this act also.
Are you in the fast lane?
LIFE IN THE FAST LANE
(By the Eagles)
He was a hard-headed man he was brutally handsome
yes, i let my girls drive the mustangs. probably if i had sons it would be a huge NOOOOOO. but as a rule, girls aren't as tempted to take on the "race". well, come to think of it i guess i do know some that would do it as much as guys. but yea, my girls know one ticket or one little "informant" telling me any "racing news" on my girls, that will mean the keys and no transportation. i've always tried to teach my girls with more freedoms become more responsibility. now my hubby on the otherhand???? um, well i'm just trying to keep him tame. lol
have a wonderful and blessed day!
Ladies and mothers have a way of keeping people tame. Grandmothers try.
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