Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy New Year 2015

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!
Another e-Mailing from my friend, John:

 
Date: Wed Dec 31 08:36:12 CST 2014
From: "John" Add To Address Book
Subject: John's howdy
To: "a bunch of us, his friends"
 

Labels: , ,


Saturday, December 27, 2014

Six Word Saturday -- Got this e-Mail, from ... -- A joke

My six words:
Got this e-Mail this morning from (my BIL, Danny)
 
Note:  if you read this, you will have to highlight between the parentheses because it will make it more than six words. It will show up on my FaceBook just fine, sorry for them.

 
 

Picture credit: (was not a part of the e-mail, Google found this)
 http://www.hootersflorida.com/galleries/2014-hooters-calendar-girls/

It has a joke that he sent:
.
Date: Sat Dec 27 10:43:19 CST 2014
From: "d...@gmail.com"
Add To Address Book
Subject: A sad tale of "Hooters"
To: (a bunch of us, even "Fwd'd" showing some others)


A group of softball players, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the waitresses were young, good looking, had big breasts and wore short-shorts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the softball buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the team again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good value for the money.

Ten years later, at age 70, they discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they had never been there before.


- - - - - - -

I do remember the only time that I ever was in a Hooters.  I was "chaperoning" my BIL's son when he wanted to buy himself a T-shirt. No problems. 

One other encounter was when I was doing hand/finger therapy after my fall in Ireland (link).  Two Hooters Girls came in with four large paper sacks.  They left two at the facility saying, "Don't forget, we are just around the corner."  I was sitting in the lobby then waiting for my appointment.  Before I left we all devoured most all of the wings they had left us.

Six Words Saturday fine print:
Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words for Six Word Saturday. Click the box at right to visit Cate's blog with Mr. Linky showing all the other blogs participating this week. Cate is the boss at Six Word Saturday. She would like for you to participate.

 

Labels: , , ,


Friday, August 15, 2014

Got this e-Mail

FW: You Thought You Knew Everything!!
Saturday, August 9, 2014 8:26 AM
From: "John ..."
To: Jim H
(My friend, John, sent me this.  He sends out a lot of stuff.  Quite a bit airplanes or golf--he is good in both of these, also old Fords.)
 
Think You Know Everything ???

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
 
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

 
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

 
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

 
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

 
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

 
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

 
A snail can sleep for three years.

 
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

 
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

 
Almonds are a member of the peach family.

 
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

 
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

 
Butterflies taste with their feet.

 
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

 
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "MT".

 
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

 
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

 
If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

 
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

 
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

 
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

 
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

 
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

 
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

 
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

 
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

 
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

 
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

 
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

 
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

 
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

 
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

 
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

 
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

 
There are more chickens than people in the world.

 
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous

 
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

 
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

 
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

 
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

 
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

 
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

 
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

 
You still don't know everything, but you've caught up a bit! 

I'm going to amaze my grand-daughter with these bits, one or two at a time as I memorize them. 

Labels: , ,


Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Got this e-mail — My Alphabe-Thursday (2nd), the letter "S" / Thursday Two Questions —

.
"Got this e-mail:"

Today my "S" is for Smile and for Spam.  When I get these crazy Spam e-mailings I generally Smile.  They may be funny jokes, they may be malicious to my computer, or they may be stupid things that no one should believe (big whoppers about elected officials or candidates are prime, so also are those that tell you about how the government or big business is ripping you off, etc).

First, smile when you see this YouTube showing what happened to Mark's computer when he clicked on something he should not have:

MARK LEUNG'S CRAZY COMPUTER BUG

.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUCZJVJ_M8o

Oh yes, you can still get my Adi (she died September 17, 2012) with the Christmas tree on my YouTube at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmwetUMxhtk
.
- - - - - -

Now, to share the first Spam e-mail that I got (smile, please):

Date: Tue Mar 26 20:26:14 CDT 2013
From: "[him]" Add To Address Book
Subject: DONATIONS:
To: "[us]" 

 
 "A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC.
Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.
 
The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"
 
"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking
for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, collecting donations."

"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks.
 
The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."
 
And then another that no one is his right mind should fall for (I really did get both of these); a second Spam e-mail that I got (smile, please):

Date: Wed Mar 27 04:13:56 CDT 2013
From: "[her]"   Add To Address Book
Subject: Send a copy? 

To: [me]


"
My man should be able to make me smile... I hope that you would be happy to get acquainted with appealing, young girl with a quiet and patient character. I am very gentle, careful and romantic. I am very communicative, kind, and calm. I really want to like and to be loved. Can you help me with this step to you?

My dream is to create a happy and friendly family, to be the best mother for my children and the most caring wife for my beloved man.
I'm not waiting for a perfect man, I understand that we all have lacks. So if you are responsible and caring man, I would like to know you better http://xxxxxxxx.com


 like to meet with you."

- - - - -
 
==>  You can see other "S" letter posts by visiting Jenny's blog post, Alphabe- Thursday. My letter "S" portion of this post will be critiqued by Head Mistress Jenny. I always hope for a good grade from her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
.
Now for my Thursday Two Questions.

My post last week was about "R" word things, Red colored things that I had found on the golf course.

My Two Questions for this week (you can answer just one if you wish):.

1. What is your reaction to e-mailings that came to you as Spam?
I like some of them so much that I put them on my other blog, me, old blogs never read, and . . . that I don't publicise but is mostly for me.  A few will read it now and then.

2. What do you think about e-mailing the sender back telling the truth or your viewpoint?  Would your answer be different if it was a friend doing the sending?
Before I decided it was not nice I would send him back a Spoof Report from one of the blog sites that answer for the truthfulness of chain-e-mails.

Bonus Question:

1. What is your favorite "S" word?
.
.==>  My Questions here are for Amanda at her Thursday Two Questions blog, Self Sagacity. Please visit her there for her questions and links to other partakers of her fun blogging idea.

Labels: , , , ,


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Got this e-Mail this morning -- Happy St. Patrick's Day

f.
First,
Happy St. Patrick's Day
 
 
 
It was from Mrs. Jim, a Happy St. Patrick's Day card. 
We've enjoyed using these from this company. 
Try them, at http://www.crosscards.com/cards/
abcd 

Labels: , , , ,


Saturday, March 17, 2012

Saint Patrick's Day — Six Word Saturday —

.my six words:

Happy St. Patrick's Day! What's this?

 

Got this e-Mail from a relative. It was forwarded like a lot of the "Fwd: Fwd's" are. The subject was, "Fw: HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!! from M a x i n e" and it had Fifteen cartoons similar to this one.

For the life of me I don't understand this one. What does she mean? Her use of the word "Irate" floors me.

If you could help me I would be grateful.


- - - - - - - - - - - -
Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words for Six Word Saturday. Click the box at right to visit Cate's blog with Mr. Linky showing all the other blogs participating this week. Cate is the boss at Six Word Saturday. She would like for you to participate.

Labels: , , , ,


Thursday, October 06, 2011

Got this e-mail -- How to lose weight the easy way

.
I found out my problem.

- - - - -

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: [my SIL (sister-in-law)]
To: Jim and lots of others
Sent: Wednesday, October 5, 2011 8:08 PM
Subject: Check your shampoo bottle (URGENT)


Check your shampoo bottle label. I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!!!! It’s the shampoo I use in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY! No WONDER I have been gaining weight!!! Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dish soap instead. Their label reads, DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE. Problem Solved!!!

- - - - -

And to think that I've been 'rinsing' my whole body with shampoo!

Labels: ,


Monday, March 28, 2011

Got this message, now ... [at least ... (we know now)] -- LaLa Land is found

.
Ever have an e-mail just disappear? The "To" person never got it. There is nothing in your sent box. It might have gone to Lala Land.
. .

That is the Funny Farm for missing computer stuff. Like "All the Gold is in Beverley Hills," "Many Missing Messages (MMM) are in Lala Land [Yahoo here]."

. . Just when I tried to send an e-mail I got this message on my screen. I determined that my message wasn't sent:

"Scheduled Maintenance


We are undertaking some essential, but extensive maintenance to improve Yahoo! Mail. During the maintenance period, some users may experience problems accessing Yahoo! Mail.We sincerely apologize for this inconvenience.


Your account is in great shape and we are working to have it available again as quickly as possible.


Yahoo! Mail Team"

Not really a problem because: [THESE WORK GOOD WITH WRITING BLOGS TOO]
1. I always do a 'Control C' copy before I send. If the message is long I do it several times. Then if Yahoo acts up I can paste into a new shell and send again.
2. Sometimes my message 'goes away.' Welcome to Lala Land. Again not a problem:
a. I've don't the trusty old 'Control C' copy and can paste a my message in a new shell.
b. I don't put the addresses in until I am ready to send. Especially where the message is long and I might not have saved things properly. At least this way a part message won't be going out.
c. When I put the addresses in I always put my own address into the "Bcc:" position. That way I can assume that if I got it then it is likely so should the recipients.
3. Here, this time, it was Yahoo acting up. All of the above worked good. Nothing was lost except the first cut of my message. Where did it go? Into Lala Land.

Labels: ,


Monday, August 16, 2010

An oldie

THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA

The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed 'control' and ' enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Google
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'

So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me.

Oh yes, she's not in MySpace either!

This is a tribute to all the Grandmas who have been fearless and learned to use the Computer........ They are the greatest!!


I found this as I was deleting old e-mail. It's probably too good to throw out.

Labels: ,


Saturday, May 15, 2010

Top 10 14 Reasons -- Why Men Might Have Dogs And Not Wives:



Got this in an e-mail from my friend, John (pictures are mine):

Some of these are not all that bad:
(some ARE bad but I put them on anyway)


1. The later you are, the more
excited your dogs are to see you.



2. Dogs don't notice if you
call them by another dog's name.


3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of
things on the floor.


4. A dog's parents never visit.


5. Dogs agree that you have to
raise your voice to get your
point across.




6. You never have to wait for a
dog; they're ready to go 24 hours
a day.


7. Dogs find you amusing when
you're drunk.



8. Dogs like to go hunting and
fishing.


9. A dog will not wake you up
at night to ask, "If I died, would
you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies,
you can put an ad in the
paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a
studded collar on it without
calling you a pervert.

1
2. If a dog smells another
dog on you, they don't get mad.
They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the
back of a pickup truck.





14. If a dog leaves,
it won't take half of your stuff.




Labels: ,


Thursday, December 03, 2009

Got this e-mail from a relative of mine:

Note, please don't forget to enter Adi's contest.
Scroll down FOR THE NEXT TWO. You have until Next Sunday.
You are permitted to change or update your answers.

Got this e-mail from a relative of mine:


Yes, the jokes have started:

The only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a club is his wife.

What is the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant & a tree. He couldn't decide between an iron and a wood.

Perhaps Tiger should use a driver.

This is the first time Tiger ever failed to drive 300 yards.

This will teach him to play a round.

And there are more...Love, (the relative)

Labels: ,


Sunday, September 06, 2009

Sunday night / Monday morning funny


SENIOR LADY DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.

The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it I could have sworn we just went through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through.

The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.

So, She turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


The next time I run a red light I am going to say that!

I thought this was funny, it came in an e-mail from my SIL

Labels: , ,


Thursday, April 03, 2008

Hey Whoadie, Let's ... Today

Mostly when I play golf, it is with my whoadies. A lot of my whoadies are in our Sunday school class over in Conroe too. There isn't a whole lot to do here in the rural subdivision except to hang out with the 'whoadies' (at golf, tennis, eating, card games, activities, boating, etc).

Now, obviously to most, what is a whoadie?

I quote one of my daily e-mails:

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com

September 10, 2007: whoadie

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whoadie&defid=312943

Your friend, particularly someone from the same area of the city as
you. Origin is from New Orleans term "[ward]", how the city is divided.

It began as "wassup 7th waaaar-day", "wassup 9th war-daaaay" and the
sound evolved to "whoadie". Eventually people dropped the ward number
and started saying "[wardy]" and "whoadie."

"wassup whoadie, you got that new CD?"


Now you know. I have contributed to the Urban Dictionary and do get these new words e-mailed to me every day.

You might can too. Add a word and for sure they send them to 'authors.'




BTW, "Hey whoadie, where is Mrs. Jim today?"

"Oh, she's out having lunch with some of the whoadies."

"Well, let's make the best of it, I'll get whoadie Charles and lets play some golf."


Yesterday's (April 1) Word: Gullible

1. Gullible

The only word that is not in the dictionary. Go look.

I swear, gullible is not there.

2. Gullible

1. Any person who has three boobs.

2. Any person who believed the first definition.




Labels: , , ,


Sunday, January 06, 2008

How lucky can you get! (not)





Dear Random Drawing Participant:

We regret that you were not a winner in our random drawing for the March 9, 2008, RODEOHOUSTON™ performance featuring Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus. We have taken extensive measures to ensure that as many different fans as possible had the opportunity to purchase these highly sought-after tickets. Thank you for your participation!

If you still want to see Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus, and 20 other superstar entertainers, Season and Mini-Season Tickets are still available, starting as low as $380 per ticket for Season (plus a $10 handling fee) and $171 per ticket for Mini-Season (plus a $10 handling fee). Call 832.667.1080 (Monday – Friday, 8:30 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. CST) and the next available operator can assist you.

We look forward to seeing you at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo™! The Show runs Monday, March 3, through Saturday, March 22, 2008.

Please do not reply to this e-mail. This e-mail address is not monitored.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Well, we tried.
.
Does anyone like this church sign any better?

"It is not the parts of the Bible that I don't understand that bother me:

.. it's the parts that I do." Mark Twain

.


Labels: , ,


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I don't recomend you do this at home [my Wordless Wednesday link is ok]

Date: Tue 10 Jul 03:17:19 CDT 2007
From: "Customer Support" Add To Address Book
Subject: Virus Detected!
To: "Jim's Little eMail Box"


Dear Customer,

Our robot has detected an abnormal activity from your IP adress
on sending e-mails. Probably it is connected with the last epidemic
of a worm which does not have official patches at the moment.

We recommend you to install this patch to remove worm files
and stop email sending, otherwise your account will be blocked.

Customer Support


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Click here, it's my Wordless Wednesday for this week]
.

Labels: ,


Sunday, June 03, 2007

Cast your bread -- Ecclesiastes 11:1**

Got this e-mail yesterday:

"I don't know if this story is true but it’s definitely worth reading. It brought tears to my eyes.......I hope you enjoy it, too.......


"One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.


"He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.



"Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water! She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it so slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?"


"You don't owe me anything," she replied. "My mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."


"He said ... "Then I thank you from my heart."


"As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was stronger also. He had been ready to give up And quit.


"Many years later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.



"Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.



"Immediately he rose and went to her room to see her. He recognized her at once. After examining her he returned to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.



"After a long struggle, the woman improved and the battle was won.


"Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay it. As she read the bill something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words...


""Paid in full with one glass of milk"


"(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.


"Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, God, that Your love has spread through human hearts and hands."



"There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the waters comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place - And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?"
**


Date: Sat 2 Jun 11:37:31 CDT 2007
From: Cousin in Omaha
Subject: GOOD DEED!!

To: A bunch of us



**
Ecclesiastes 11:1-6 (
link) New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Bread Upon the Waters

.
1 Cast your bread upon the waters,
for after many days you will find it again.

.
2 Give portions to seven, yes to eight,
for you do not know what disaster may come upon the land.

3 If clouds are full of water,
they pour rain upon the earth.
Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north,
in the place where it falls, there will it lie.

4 Whoever watches the wind will not plant;
whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.

5 As you do not know the path of the wind,
or how the body is formed [a] in a mother's womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God,
the Maker of all things.

6 Sow your seed in the morning,
and at evening let not your hands be idle,
for you do not know which will succeed,
whether this or that,
or whether both will do equally well.



Labels: ,


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?